Typically speaking, parents put a lot of pressure on themselves to make time for their children. Now, it seems we spend a lot of time strategizing how to get away from them! Early-quarantine offered us a seemingly once-in-a-lifetime chance to spend quality time with our kids. Four months in, the quantity of time has turned the quality of time to mush. We still yearn to have meaningful interactions with our kids, but how do we restore the quality of our connections when we are feeling so burnt out?

Most parents “get” the need to spend time playing with their kids, but more often than not, we’re left standing on the sidelines (or collapsed on the couch), watching our kids laugh and play, while we struggle to find an in. While, of course, kids need to play with other kids as well as on their own (i.e. we don’t need to be involved all the time); playing with parents is a great way for your child to bond with you, in their world, on their terms. Understanding the importance of play, as well as a few simple strategies for getting involved in the action, ultimately makes it easier for us to find the time and energy to get in the game. So what’s a parent to do? Here’s what the experts recommend…

Holy moly! So you got through the initial outbreak of the Pandemic. Now you’re working your way through the unstructured summer months. And it’s looking like the fall won’t be offering much relief, with most schools reopening on a part-time/flex basis, if at all. One way to make the job of full-time parenting/entertaining/educating more manageable is to add a little structure to your days.

As much as we all crave quality time with the kids in our lives, relating to children can be surprisingly tough. What do they like? What are they thinking, feeling, experiencing? Striking up a conversation about these things can be challenging. That’s where books come in. Books can provide a powerful point of entry for relating to kids. They are written and edited by professionals who understand the issues and interests children face at various ages and stages. Therefore, they can be used as a way to spur conversation, explore emotions, discover hobbies and interests, learn new information, or purely for entertainment. Oh, the places you’ll go!

Talking is one of the most valuable ways we can relate to another human being. If the eyes are the gateway to the soul, conversation is the gateway to the inner thoughts, insights and experiences of another person. Unfortunately, conversing with children doesn’t always come naturally to us adults. Every age and stage, from pre-verbal through puberty and beyond, comes with its own unique challenges. Yet, it may be comforting to know that, when it comes to talking with children, your goal is really to have them do most of the work. Your job is simply to create a safe space for your child to express whatever they are thinking and feeling. Our helpful age-by-age guide can help you get started.

Once you have kids, finding any uninterrupted time in the day that’s just yours — to just be quiet, to just think, or to just get one small thing off your own to-do list — is really hard to come by. But, believe it or not, it is possible to buy yourself back some me-time after you have kids. You just have to be super organized and intentional about it. You don’t want to find yourself hiding in a closet just to steal a moment to yourself. You want to build it into your family’s day.

Parents are constantly juggling responsibilities: work, household logistics, personal and professional relationships, loving and raising the kids, all while trying to find time for self-care, exercise, hobbies, and a little shut eye. On a good day, managing this juggling act is a delicate balance. What happens when life throws you a massive curveball?

Our hobbies, our passions, and what we do for pure relaxation fuel and restore us physically, emotionally, and psychologically in the most efficient way imaginable. Those restorative activities provide care and nurturance for your soul — providing you with the energy you need to get through everything life throws at you. And yet, in our parent time survey, a whopping 84.5% of parents said they spend too little time on hobbies and personal relaxation. Let’s change that!

We’re all working with the same 24 hours in a day. But subtract time for sleep, personal and household maintenance — such as eating, showering, cooking, cleaning, etc. —, and work, and we’re left with precious few hours remaining. Naturally, we all want to make the most of this time; yet, you might be surprised how much time clutter is stealing from you. Understanding the root of the problem will help you release it for good.

Raising kids is all about the unpredictable: juggling responsibilities at work and in your personal life with constant shifts in your child’s mood, interests, abilities, and needs. If you leave the predictable activities — like cleaning, laundry, meal prep, and cooking — to the burden of daily decision-making, you won’t have the energy and time to deal with the true surprises, like the post-dinner temper-tantrum. When it comes to logistics — the stuff that has to get done to keep yourself, the kids, and the household running — the goal is to automate the predictable, while shrinking each system to its smallest footprint.

Networking is vital to a successful career in almost any field. Without the time and ability to engage in networking at the same level as their non-parent peers, working parents need to get creative and develop concrete strategies for cultivating professional relationships. If you’re struggling to find the time, try systematizing your approach so that it becomes a seamless part of your routine without stealing precious hours from your day with these easy strategies.

Relating to your child is probably the most irreplaceable job you have as a parent: you are, more than anyone else on Earth, who your children look to for affirmation and recognition of their self-worth. Ultimately, most of us “get” the need to spend time with our kids, but relating to kids at every age and stage isn’t always so easy. It helps to convert relating into tangible, measurable actions that allow you to connect with different aspects of your child’s developing personality and identity. When it comes down to it, relating can be broken down into four categories of activities, all of which provide a platform for connecting, bonding, and infusing your child with the unconditional message that they matter…

Many of us enter this whole cohabitating thing with a lot of love, but without a clue. We get blindsided by the amount of joint-decision making there is to do — like dividing the logistics, in a way that is transparent, fair, and manageable. Because it’s so uncomfortable to talk about, people tend to just gravitate toward the things they notice — which is not the same as aligning on the workload as partners. Operating independently means work is done without recognition and resentments build over the tedious day-to-day stuff.  In the absence of direct conversation, one party ends up taking on the lion’s share of the work. Studies show that this is often the woman, who ends up feeling burdened by both the physical and emotional labor involved. The workload becomes so exhausting, there’s not enough energy left to cultivate the relationship.

Ginny loved her work. A vice president of marketing for an ad agency, in many ways her work defined her. Yet, Ginny’s passion for her work made her feel guilty. It took time away from her kids (7, 11 and 13) and often distracted her when they were together. She wondered constantly if she should put her goals and passion on hold, to be a better parent for her kids. This question — to work, or not to work — is emblematic of a struggle many parents face.

We all desire self-care. More importantly, we’ve all come to understand that we need self-care. The physical and psychological benefits of self-nurturance have been scientifically proven, time and time again. It’s no longer a revolutionary concept. But we often struggle to attain and sustain it because, well, life happens, getting in the way of our best laid plans. So what can we do? It’s time to reframe our thinking on self-care.

Many people think exercise means 60-90 minutes three times a week, at the gym or in a class. And it can be difficult to break out of that notion; it’s how most of us used to exercise before we had kids. Now, as a parent, you may have adopted an all or nothing mentality: you know it’s impossible to exercise as much as (or in the way) you once did, so you stop altogether.  It’s time to rethink your exercise routine. Let’s envision a new approach to fitness.

Whether you were organized or not before you had kids, arranging logistics for family life is different and more complex than organizing for a single person. Engaging every member of the household in arranging tasks, including kids from an early age, is a good thing. It promotes a sense of responsibility and belonging; imparts the value of caring for others in relationships; and teaches critical life skills that will benefit your children into adulthood. A simple conversation with your family may be just the thing you need to hit reset on your household’s division of labor.

The Holidays present a time challenge to everyone, especially parents; not only must we continue to provide and arrange, but we have the added responsibility to create holiday magic for our kids. With an increased workload, it can be all too easy to lose sight of ourselves and our own needs. The catch-22, of course, is that it’s when we have the least amount of time for self care that we require it most. To keep yourself operating at peak capacity this holiday season, check out these quick S.E.L.F. care tips to maintain adequate levels of sleep, exercise, love, and fun.

How do you take the time to rest as a parent? Better yet, where will you find it? Research shows there are 4 types of active rest  — that is, rest that requires you to carve out mere minutes or even seconds during the day — that any parent can master to feel more alert, focused, and present, no matter how sleep deprived.

While raising my daughter, I was baffled at how difficult is was for myself and other parents to know our roles when it came to our kid’s schoolwork. Were we meant to supervise and help them? If so, to what extent? Where was the line between helping them and doing it for them? And was it our job to ensure that it got done or theirs? 

A friend once said that what she loves about travel, is that every time you go on a trip, you are changed forever.  She is so right. We see and experience things when we go to places we’ve never been that simply cannot happen by armchair travel through a Google search.  This summer, I had an extraordinary opportunity to go to Africa--and it was one of those trips that changed me in ways I am still synthesizing.

As a parent, whether you are single or married, have one kid or ten, it’s not uncommon to feel totally isolated. Your only hope for managing the job comes from building a village of people with whom you can share the journey of being a parent. That includes practical support, like sharing carpool duties and pediatrician recommendations, and also emotional support…

School's out for summer. And you know what that means for kids and parents everywhere: lots of family time, later than usual bed times, and for working parents especially, a mad scramble to cobble together a week-to-week schedule that keeps the kids engaged and safe…

Teaching kids life skills is one of the primary responsibilities we parents have to our children: and yet, it can be such a tricky and emotionally charged area. Organizing, Time Management and Money Management are critical to life’s success, but aren’t typically taught in schools, or handed down easily from parent to child.

There’s only one thing more frustrating than not being able to clear your own clutter—and that is coming home at the end of a stressful day and being confronted with your kid’s mess.  It feels like facing your own failure as a parent. You want to teach them a life skill that you know will make their life easier and lead to more success... But how can you teach something you yourself don’t even know how to do?