Most parents “get” the need to spend time playing with their kids, but more often than not, we’re left standing on the sidelines (or collapsed on the couch), watching our kids laugh and play, while we struggle to find an in. While, of course, kids need to play with other kids as well as on their own (i.e. we don’t need to be involved all the time); playing with parents is a great way for your child to bond with you, in their world, on their terms. Understanding the importance of play, as well as a few simple strategies for getting involved in the action, ultimately makes it easier for us to find the time and energy to get in the game.
So what’s a parent to do? Here’s what the experts recommend:
Let the child lead.
Children learn to explore and interact with the world through play from a very young age. Play facilitates the ability to explore hobbies and interests, try on new roles and behaviors, and develop important skills for later in life, such as: teamwork, decision making, negotiation, conflict resolution, and self-advocacy. In fact, play is so important to child development that it has been recognized by the United Nations High Commission for Human Rights as a right of every child.
Furthermore, when kids play, they create a world that is perfectly suited to their current needs, interests, challenges and goals. When you follow their lead, you have the opportunity to get to know your child more fully by inhabiting their world. As an added bonus, it takes a lot of the pressure off your shoulders. All you have to do is be present.
Keep it varied and old school.
There are different forms of play — pretend, games with rules, physical, constructive, competitive — and each kind of play has its own benefits and characteristics. Simple wood blocks, dolls, a ball and bat, or a game of tag offer more opportunities for your child to direct the play than the fanciest toys and games.
Let’s face it: what was “in” last week is completely and totally “out” this week. And trying to keep up with the latest trends can be so stressful, it zaps all the fun out of something that’s supposed to be exactly that, fun. Getting back to basics eliminates the need to try to keep up with all the gizmos and gadgets. A game of tag is timeless.
Have fun, too.
Your kids can tell when you’re just playing the part vs. when you’re actually having fun and enjoying your time with them. So get in there and have fun. Emcee the fashion show, use duct tape on the floor to create a toy car highway, build a marshmallow city, run through the sprinkler on a hot summer day. According to the National Institute of Play, all work and no play makes Jack and Jill very dull parents. But when adults reconnect to their playful side, it builds intimacy, releases stress, and adds joy. We don’t want our kids thinking adulthood is all bah humbug all the time, do we?
Ultimately, playing with our kids is one of the most valuable ways we as parents can connect with and get to know our children — what they think, how they feel, and how they view themselves and the world around them. When we take the time to not only observe their play style and behavior, but to actually get involved in the action, we place ourselves in a prime position to witness our children evolving into the unique individuals they truly are. What could be better than learning about your kids while having fun?
For more advice on how to play with your kids at any age and stage (yes, teenagers too!), download our FREE Age-By-Age Guide to Play.
See also:
Our Age-By-Age Guide to Talking with your kids.
Our Age-By-Age Guide to Reading with your kids.