As you reflect on your experiences with homeschooling — whether you feel like you knocked it out of the park or it knocked you on your butt — consider that formal schooling is but one of many ways that we raise our children to be successful adults. And the good news is, some of the best teaching we do is incorporated into our everyday interactions with our children — no additional time investment required. The three primary modes of teaching are…
As much as we all crave quality time with the kids in our lives, relating to children can be surprisingly tough. What do they like? What are they thinking, feeling, experiencing? Striking up a conversation about these things can be challenging. That’s where books come in. Books can provide a powerful point of entry for relating to kids. They are written and edited by professionals who understand the issues and interests children face at various ages and stages. Therefore, they can be used as a way to spur conversation, explore emotions, discover hobbies and interests, learn new information, or purely for entertainment. Oh, the places you’ll go!
While raising my daughter, I was baffled at how difficult is was for myself and other parents to know our roles when it came to our kid’s schoolwork. Were we meant to supervise and help them? If so, to what extent? Where was the line between helping them and doing it for them? And was it our job to ensure that it got done or theirs?
Teaching kids life skills is one of the primary responsibilities we parents have to our children: and yet, it can be such a tricky and emotionally charged area. Organizing, Time Management and Money Management are critical to life’s success, but aren’t typically taught in schools, or handed down easily from parent to child.
There’s only one thing more frustrating than not being able to clear your own clutter—and that is coming home at the end of a stressful day and being confronted with your kid’s mess. It feels like facing your own failure as a parent. You want to teach them a life skill that you know will make their life easier and lead to more success... But how can you teach something you yourself don’t even know how to do?
Time management is the art of accurately calculating how long things take, how to plan an appropriate amount of time for tasks and find more efficient ways to get them done. Wouldn’t it be great if your kids were good at it? Imagine the drama you can avoid by not having a nightly battle over homework, or a last-minute dinosaur diorama crisis, or a college essay deadline disaster…
The most common goal of executives who hire me for time management coaching is to free up time to invest in their teams and to spend with their families. Intuitively, they know that time spent with people forms crucial bonds, enables personal development and reduces fire drills. Yet, daily urgencies frequently preempt time reserved for weekly 1:1’s, for “walking the halls” to stay visible and getting home in time for dinner.
Protecting time for others requires a willful shift from being reactive (to every distraction and mini-emergency) to being proactive about long term priorities. Is it easy? No. Is it worth it? Yes. To inspire us all, I can think of no better role model than my beloved elementary school Principal, Martin. K. Brown.
I met Mr. Brown on my first day of 6th grade. My family had just moved to Center City, Philadelphia, and I was nervous about entering a new school where all the kids had been friends since kindergarten.
Wearing my coolest pleather jumper and a burgundy pullover, I took a deep breath and walked in the front door of Greenfield Elementary School. And there, waiting at the top of the steps, was Mr. Brown, my new principal. “Hello Julie,” he said. “Welcome to your first day!”
The warmth of that greeting is emblazoned on my memory. I was stunned; not only was the Principal stationed at the entrance, but he knew my name! I felt safe, I felt important, and I felt that I belonged. My time at Greenfield ended up being the most formative of my life— a defining era that even now, I can go to in my mind to connect to my most authentic, capable self.
Not too long ago, Mr. Brown surfaced alive and well on Facebook. His profile became a super-magnet to students from around the globe. Within months, hundreds descended upon Philadelphia for an elementary school reunion.
As I reconnected with friends who looked exactly the same as when we were ten years old (I swear), and alumni from across the decades, one thing was apparent: Mr. Brown had made a similar lifelong impression on every single student who passed through that school. The accolades revealed that it wasn’t just because Mr. Brown was such a wonderful, wise person…it was because of how you felt in his presence.
"When Mr. Brown was around, you just knew everything was going to be alright”
"He created an environment that allowed us to soar."
“Mr. Brown represented high ideals, and inspired us to do our best”
I sat down with Mr. Brown recently, and asked him how he approached his job, to see what we could learn from him. His primary goal, he said, was to create a positive environment -- a place that kids (and parents) would remember and feel good about. To make that happen, he spent his time and attention in three very particular ways.
He invested time getting to know each student personally. He learned our interests, personalities, strengths and dreams. And because our leader recognized us, we felt we could be ourselves. Even 40 years later, at the reunion, we marveled that he not only knew each of us by name, he remembered the names of our siblings and parents. He made us feel like we mattered.
He organized his day around “being there.” No matter what else was on his plate, Mr. Brown did not want students to see him only when they got into trouble. He stopped by classrooms and made sure we saw him in the hallways and lunchroom and at recess. We felt safe, seen and taken care of, because someone was visible and present.
He promptly resolved issues with love. Because he had taken the time to establish a good rapport, when kids acted out, he didn't need to yell or threaten. Instead, he'd say (with a glint in his eye), "I know you can do better." He meant it, and we listened. Conflicts were resolved quickly, with everyone’s dignity intact.
Certainly, Mr. Brown had a rare gift for understanding human behavior and what people need. But his vision and grace translates to three concrete behaviors we can all practice, whether we are leaders, managers, parents or friends. No matter how demanding our jobs, it's important to remember that devoting time and attention to people is the best investment you can make. It inspires everyone to be the greatest version of themselves, and leaves a lasting legacy.
