The Beatles had it right… “All You Need is Love.” But not just the romantic kind. People thrive on friendships and human connection. Yet, many of us are so overwhelmed by the demands of our day-to-day work and personal lives, we neglect to put the effort into our social lives. All too often, Friday night rolls around, and we realize we haven’t made any plans for the weekend. Cue another 48 hour Netflix binge that leaves us feeling more depleted than energized, more anxious than relaxed.
Strong personal relationships are essential to our health and wellbeing. And one of the best ways to ensure you connect with others on a regular basis is to create routines and habits that zap planning from the equation. The existence of the routine makes connecting with others an easy, regular thing by allowing everyone to anchor their schedules around a few givens. It also creates glue between people, solidifying your tribe by communicating how much you value each other.
Whether daily, weekly, monthly, or annually, here are some ways to build in regular time to connect with others:
Share errand time. Build routine connecting-time into a few weekly chores to make mundane, tasks something you look forward to. Buddy up with a friend to go to the local farmer’s market or supermarket every Saturday morning and it just might become among your most enjoyable weekly routines.
Monthly traditions. Monthly routines are great for groups of people (or events) that require a little more effort to make happen, but are very rewarding. Visits to (or from) relatives who live beyond a day-trip away. A monthly girls’ or boys’ night out with friends – and whoever shows up, shows up (no more spending months trying to coordinate). A monthly trivia night, poker game, or book club can be a nice anchor point to look forward to.
Make 20-minute connections. Long get togethers over meals can be delightful, but don’t limit yourself to just big get togethers with friends. There are lots of 20-minute activities that give you micro-doses of connection. E.g. Have breakfast, grab a coffee, go for a walk at lunchtime, talk or FaceTime with a friend while you do the dishes or commute. You’d be surprised how satisfying frequent, short connections with friends can be — and they are so much easier to fit in.
Weekly get togethers. Build a handful of social activities into the week (or every other week) that guarantee you time to connect with others. It could be going on a power walk with a friend two mornings a week, a weekly meet-up at the dog park for you (and your canine companion!) to socialize, or staking out Friday “Friends night” — a rotating potluck party to kick off the weekend.
Annual occasions: There are some special events that you may only be able to pull off once per year, but are worth creating a tradition around. Consider an annual couples or friends weekend trip or week-long vacation. Annual holiday barbecues, dinners, picnics, etc. with friends and family are fun for everyone — and take the hassle out of creating a whole experience yourself. Or an annual family reunion that swaps hosts year-to-year so as not to cause undue burden on any one family member.
While the initial automation may take some investment, routine get-togethers will make your social time more efficient in the long run, e.g. if you host a weekly movie night for your neighborhood friends on Friday nights in the summer, you get faster at setting up the space, having the right snacks and selecting the movie. With the hassle of planning out of the way, all that’s left to do is kick-back, relax, and enjoy time with your loved ones.