Do you have the best intentions of getting to bed at a reasonable hour? You set a healthy goal for bedtime, but that hour comes and goes and you stay glued to your phone, laptop or binging a tv show. Suddenly it’s much later than you planned and you still have to wake up early the next morning. This is a recipe for sleep deprivation, and we all know how hard it is to perform well, think clearly, and feel good in that state.
What causes us to procrastinate going to bed? Sleep problems can be caused by a whole range of issues, and there is no one size fits all solution. But in my work as a time management coach I’ve noticed some common themes that can be fixed with a few simple steps. The solution lies in restructuring our evenings so we are set up for a good night’s sleep. Here’s how:
Don’t Make Sleep your Only Form of Self-Care
One reason we might be procrastinating going to bed on time is that we are making sleep our only form of self-care. It is so common for conscientious working people, parents, and caretakers to wait until no one needs anything before they let themselves relax. By then it's bedtime. It only makes sense that if sleep is your only form of self-care that you’d stay up to the wee hours to squeeze in some me-time. Unfortunately, all that’s left at that point are mindless forms of escape, none of which really restore us, and all of which steal from our needed hours of sleep.
Distinguish between an Evening & Bedtime Routine
When we have trouble sleeping, our first impulse is to renovate our bedtime routine. While that may certainly be part of the solution, we often need more. While doing research for my book Time to Parent, I learned something from the website Baby Sleep Science, used to help children with sleep challenges, that applies equally to adults. They described the difference between an evening routine and a bedtime routine.
An “Evening” routine is what you do to relax at night in general, which can be flexible and varied (e.g. a movie, playing board games, a hobby, socializing, etc.). It’s an activity you do to relax and decompress after dinner and before starting your bedtime routine.
A “bedtime routine,” is the series of specific activities you do between the end of your evening routine and getting yourself into bed, ready to fall asleep. The bedtime routine should be the exact same steps every night, in the same order that signals to your body and brain it is time to let go and fall asleep. Begin the ritual at the same time every night, and aim for 45 minutes to one hour before you want to be asleep.
Now that you know the difference between an evening routine and bedtime routine, you can figure out what actually needs restructuring.
Decompress between dinner and bedtime
More often than not, what busy grownups forget about is the evening routine……we go from work, to family time, and maybe back to our laptops to get more work done, and then expect to go straight to sleep. We skip decompression, and it’s simply too hard to go from work straight to bed. If that sounds like you, try injecting a decompression activity into each evening. And vary it up a bit to keep it engaging. What activities are truly relaxing for you? Perhaps listening to music, or reading. Taking a walk after dinner, or catching up with a friend. Exploring a hobby or doing a puzzle. It doesn't have to be for long—the trick is to inject something that restores and transports you before you begin your bedtime routine. So that sleep isn't your only form of self-care.
An intentional evening routine relaxes and recharges, all while setting you up for a restful night’s sleep and a better tomorrow.