As much as we all crave quality time with the kids in our lives, relating to children can be surprisingly tough. What do they like? What are they thinking, feeling, experiencing? Striking up a conversation about these things can be challenging. That’s where books come in. Books can provide a powerful point of entry for relating to kids. They are written and edited by professionals who understand the issues and interests children face at various ages and stages. Therefore, they can be used as a way to spur conversation, explore emotions, discover hobbies and interests, learn new information, or purely for entertainment.
Indeed, books can also be a great way to simply connect and have fun with your kids. According to a survey by Scholastic, 83% of kids aged 6 - 17 said they still love reading with their parents, and cite it as one of the most bonding experiences of their childhood. In fact, the bond that forms between caretaker and child while sharing stories is so powerful, and so vital for children’s happiness and development, that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends parents read aloud to their children from infancy through young adulthood.
We know that reading offers an excellent opportunity to bond with children. But how do we make it an engaging and enjoyable experience, for them as well as for us? The key is to:
Have fun with it. Make sure reading is associated with pleasure, and quality time with you. Build anticipation with a dramatic introduction of the book: read the title, author and illustrator. Look at the cover and imagine together what the book might be about. As you read, vary your expressions and tone of voice to fit the plot. Use a different voice for each character. Pause when appropriate to create suspense. Engage your children in reading by encouraging them to finish sentences (when they are young), reading certain characters (as they start learning to read), reading aloud to you (you read one page, they read the next).
Talk about what you are reading. Talking about what you’re reading gives it power, according to the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC) as well as the opportunity to promote closeness between parent and child. Talk about the book and how it relates to a child’s real life experiences. Do you know anyone like that? Did that ever happen to you? If you're reading a book about a family, for example, talk about how what happens in the story is the same or different from what happens in your family.
Stay connected when kids begin reading on their own. Many parents miss reading with their kids once they develop the ability to read on their own. But you can still use reading as a way to relate to your children long after they begin reading independently. The key is to ask open-ended questions to spur conversation.
Before your child reads a book, ask:
Why did you select this book?
What makes you think this book is going to be interesting?
What do you think this book is going to be about?
Does this book remind you of anything you’ve already read or seen?
While your child is reading on their own, try asking:
Will you catch me up on the story? What’s happened so far?
What do you think will happen next?
If you were that character, what would you have done differently in that situation?
After your child has finished a book, ask questions like:
What was your favorite part of the book? Why?
Who was your favorite character? Why?
What was the most interesting thing you learned from the book?
Why do you think the author wrote this book?
Reading to your child early and often — and continuing to foster a life-long love of reading as they grow — is one of the best things that you can do for your child. Not only is it fantastic for your relationship; it is an excellent way to strengthen your child’s cognitive development, from vocabulary to critical thinking, emotional literacy, and beyond! For more tips on how to use books as a vehicle to relate to your child, download our FREE age-by-age guide to reading.