Last week, I talked about the importance of strong personal relationships to our health and well being — both mentally and physically. A 75-year study at Harvard University, known as the Grant Study, found that close relationships — more than money, fame, IQ, or genes — are what keep people happy and healthy over a long life. According to Robert Waldinger, current director of the study, "The people who were the most satisfied in their relationships at age 50 were the healthiest at age 80.” In fact, the study found that people’s level of satisfaction with their relationships was a better predictor of physical health than their cholesterol levels!
It’s one thing to cultivate close relationships with people who live under our roof or within our community. But staying close to those who live further away is a whole different challenge. Often, we tend to rely on social media to do the heavy lifting, keeping us up-to-date on the lives of our friends and family members. But that can’t be all there is. For our long distance relationships to go the distance, it’s important to actively prioritize and nourish them.
Try staying connected with close friends and family who live far away using some of the following strategies:
Video calls: In lieu of social media, rely on Skype, FaceTime, Google Hangouts, WhatsApp — or any of the plethora of advanced technologies that allow us to feel as though we are in the same room with someone, regardless of how far away they truly are. Regular old talking on the phone is good, too; but being able to see someone’s facial expressions or even their surroundings really helps strengthen the connection.
Record messages: Take advantage of your Smartphone to send audio messages to a distant friend or relative. You can even record video messages to send via text, email, or using apps like Marco Polo. Old school voicemail works too. Regardless of the packaging, a surprise message from a distant friend can be just as exciting as opening an unexpected gift.
Good old snail mail: Technology is great, but nothing replaces the thrill of receiving something in the mail. Go out and buy a bunch of funny greeting cards or beautiful postcards that you can pre-stamp, pre-address, and keep neatly stored with the rest of your stationary. Now, when that certain someone pops into your mind, it’s easy as pie to write a brief “thinking of you” note and send it off. Alternatively, save yourself a trip to the store with sites like Postable, which can send physical greeting cards for you!
Photos: Platforms like Facebook and Instagram make sharing pictures publicly a breeze. But there’s something about taking the time to share specific photos, directly with a specific person, that makes a lasting connection. Consider using apps like Dropbox to keep a shared photo album you can update with your loved ones. Websites like Shutterfly will even allow you to put together a photo book, which you can print and mail to your not-so-nearest dearests. Print and frame photos you receive to keep your loved one’s faces a regular vision in your home.
In-person visits: It may be too burdensome (or expensive) to see each other multiple times a year, but visits are essential to nurturing human bonds. Try alternating who makes the long-haul trip each time and commit to getting together at least once a year. Go for an extended period, around the same time each year to establish regular traditions.
Long-distance relationships of any kind require effort. But by setting the time aside, prioritizing the relationship, and varying the ways in which you stay connected, you strengthen your bond by communicating that you value each other, no matter the time or distance that separates you. Oh, and remember, it’s good for your health!