With great power, comes great responsibility. Twenty years ago, we may not have imagined a world in which every person could hold great power in the palm of their hand. And then came the smartphone… providing us with a whole lot of power, and a responsibility we may not have been prepared to accept.
Many of us tend to take an all-or-nothing approach to this responsibility — wholly rejecting the siren song of technology or mindlessly disappearing into our devices until our weekly screen time notification shocks us back into reality. Ultimately, our devices have the power to allow us to connect or disconnect at will.
It is up to us to decide how we use technology in our everyday lives — whether we allow it to lift or limit the quality of our social interactions. The key is to be mindful about how we use technology — how we allow it to influence our ability to connect with others.
A former colleague, Tatiana McPartland, conducted research into this very topic. Her question: Does technology bring us closer together or further apart? Her findings: Our devices bring us closer to people who are geographically far away — but separates us from those who are geographically nearby. Use this insight as a guideline to use technology mindfully.
When you are physically present with others:
Separate yourselves from your screens. The old adage, out of sight, out of mind, holds true. Studies show that the mere presence of a device, even when not in active use, attracts our attention and reduces our cognitive capacity, thereby limiting the quality of our social interactions. If you don’t need it, put it away.
Synchronize your screen time. Decide on a set period of time — say, for an hour after you and your partner get home from work or 30 minutes after dinner — when everyone in your household is allowed to disappear into their devices before coming back together for quality, in-person time. When out with friends, agree to take 5-10 minute “tech breaks” where everyone is free to satisfy their desire to check their texts and social media accounts without having to sneak it under the table mid-conversation.
Prioritize appropriately. If you are on your device and someone approaches you, in-person, and requires your attention, be prepared to remove yourself from the digital realm. Turn your phone over — or better yet, put it away entirely — or close your laptop screen to communicate to the other person that you are fully present and ready to listen.
And, to stay connected with those who are far away:
Schedule focused time for social media. Don’t sneak an Instagram post in on your bathroom break or mindlessly scroll through FaceBook on the check-out line at the grocery store. Instead, set aside a specific amount of time every day or every week where you can give it your full, undivided attention. Then, use it for all it has to offer. Reach out to people. Comment on things. Share photos. Stay connected.
Put a time limit on it. Even if your closest friends and family live half a world away, it’s important to limit the amount of time you spend on your device. Putting a time limit on it will ensure that you use your time mindfully — to stay connected — rather than mindlessly — to avoid doing the dishes or filing your taxes.
Use every feature available. We can connect with distant loved ones today like never before. FaceTime, Skype, and WhatsApp all allow us to video chat for free with an internet connection. Even FaceBook, Instagram, and Snapchat have live video chat capabilities. Use the power of technology to mimic the feeling of an in-person connection as often as possible.
Like it or not, our devices are here to stay — and will likely continue to take a more prominent position in our lives as new technological advancements continue to develop. Establishing responsible habits will allow us to use developing technologies to the best of their ability, facilitating a state of connectedness with those who are geographically far away, without infringing upon our in-person relationships with close friends, family, and colleagues.